Untitled

I dont know why i feel sad today. It must be the weather. The sun hasn't been out for the past few days. It's been cold and gloomy. I'm stuck here at home coz it's too cold to go anywhere. Besides, i really need time to be by myself and think. Rick has been hinting again that he wants to go on a vacation. I guess he's bored. We dont do anything fun. It'll just get worse once winter is here. We wont be able to go out at all! I feel bad coz he's bored and i am not! A lot has happened to me the past couple months and i feel like i still dont have a system going with my new life. I am still trying to catch up with laundry, ironing and all other housework. So, i am not bored at all! Tired, maybe, but not bored. Although, yah it can get boring when all i do is work and home, but i like that. TV makes me happy. Cuddles makes me happy. Just being home and feel secure makes me happy. I really dont need to go anywhere just to have fun. All i need is something to do.

Now, I realized that Rick and I have different interest. He likes to go out. While I only went to bars before just to meet guys. But now that i have him, i am not interested anymore. I used to like go to the movies and make-out, but with the movie theaters here so small, you cant even whisper or yet, "do" anything! Besides, we dont need to go anywhere just to make out! hahaha I really need to come up with something before he gets really bored. I feel bad too coz i work too much and i always come home from work tired. Something really has to change... Help!

Anyway, it's fall! Meaning, new season of my favorite shows is coming up! Like Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Nip/Tuck, CSI and Dancing with the Stars! These are the reasons i like staying home. I used to have at least one favorite show for each day. But with 7th Heaven and Charmed gone, my line-up isn't complete. Plus i am tired of watching Sex and The City reruns!

I really should get a life!

On Bong

He was one of the first internet boyfriends i had. We started talking way back in 2000. He was still in Manila then. We talk constantly, text, cellphone and emails. Then he went to Singapore and we continued our communication. I know it was a little spendy on his part, calling me almost everyday, but he still did it. I did my part by texting him a lot too. Sometimes I call him. He often sing to me on the phone and i liked that very much. We kept in touch until 2003. But it wasnt as of often as the first couple years. He just got so busy with his work travelling that he couldnt find time for me anymore. I cant blame him. I am thousands of miles away. I have moved on too. But in my heart he has a special place. Because i thought we shared something special...

But i was so wrong! Yesterday i said hi to him in YM. It's not often that i see him go online so i was happy when i saw him. But he didnt recognize me. We never saw each other maybe that's why. But I tried to refresh his memory, but nothing. I didnt understand why. Then i realized, maybe i didnt mean anything to him. maybe what happened between us wasnt special at all! I was so foolish to believe it was.

Well, I guess it doesnt matter anymore. I am happy now. I hope he's happy too... Wish we could've remained friends. But i guess that'll never happen.

You called me - Mahal...

Reflection

I was passing waters in the resident's dining room when i realized i wasn't alone in the room. with me was one of the lady residents. she was sitting on her wheelchair, staring at nothing with her mouth open. at first i thought it was funny. then i felt sorry for her. she's in the nursing home waiting to die. how long she waited, that i dont know. but she was already there when i started working at the nursing home. and that was a year ago! I then started to wonder why God let something like that happen to a person, why couldnt he just take them! Suddenly a thought just came to me - they are there so that people like me will have a job. That is very true! There are thousands of nursing homes or assisted living facilities all over the country. Thousands of people working at such a place. All relying on that income for survival. If God would immediately take away those who gets old or get sick, a lot of people will have nothing. I cant imagine what it would be like...

I was almost done with what i was doing. I looked at that resident and smiled. I didnt feel sorry for her anymore. I was grateful. I went to get her and wheeled her to her place. It was still early and she shouldn't be in there. But it's not her fault that the dining room door was left open. Besides, i owe her one for giving me this thought. She reminded me to be thankful that i can still do things, whether i like it or not! Somehow it occured to me that this is just her body, her soul left her long time ago. She is just here to serve her purpose. She's still here for people like me...

Picture It! 4

LEO - our youngest cat. i call him scaredy-cat.
a little bitty noise will scare him.
i dont think he likes me.

SASSY - the only girl. she's mean that's why the name.

but she can be pretty sweet when she wants her hair

brushed or simply wants food!

BLACKIE - he's the gentlest cat i know.

he always wants attention whenever

i am on the phone or in the computer.

Training session

i was training somebody the whole time i was working last week. and after a couple days with her, i was ready to give up and fire her! she seemed nice at first, but, on my third day with her, she was getting on my nerves! fast! she snaps at me when i try to remind her what to do. like, when i say, "make sure you dont forget to take the snack cart to the nursing home, okay?" and i say it in such a sweet way that i amaze myself (hehehe). but then she would snap at me and say "i am not forgetting!" then when i try to point out things that she forgot to do, she would say, "i didnt know i was suppose to do that. nobody told me!" hello?!? so now she's calling me a liar! and so i patiently pointed out to her that i did, 3 times! my other co-workers doesnt like her attitude either, coz she doesnt like being told what to do, they tried to show her something to make her job easier but she didnt like the idea! so she started ignoring that girl. what a nerve! but how will she learn! it was really a frustrating week for me. i wish i can fill-up an evaluation form, i would surely give her a failing mark. but no, there is no such thing in our system. oh well! i cant do anything about it now! all i know is she's not gonna get any help from me!

you might find it weird that i am writing about this girl i trained. this is simply my way of showing you guys that not everyone here is smart! they can be the dumbest creatures on earth! oh, they are not the prettiest either! there was this young lady, a co-worker's daughter, she thinks she's really pretty! she acts like it anyway! i really dont know how to explain it. but she is what we call "pamati" or "OA" in the Philippines. she looks trashy too! wish i can take picture of her... and so whenever i see her and she starts talking, i laugh inside and i really want to tell her that she is not pretty! hahaha... she's not my friend so i cant do that! i shoudnt be writing this but i did! for all we know she feels the same way i do! hahaha...

anyway, my new schedule is not really working for me and rick. so i will try talking to our manager tomorrow and convince her to give me day shifts. i hope it works! coz if it doesnt, then i have to cut my hours and only work 3 days a week instead of 6 (meaning, lesser shopping money for me!). i have to figure out something for the extra time i'll have! i'll try to look for another part-time job. housekeeping perhaps?